Color me sexist, but.....

God Damnit I am so sick of cable networks with nothing else to show and magazines guilted into coverage inundating me with coverage of women's college basketball. I don't care. I never cared before, and I will never care about it in the future. Women's sports are horrible. If I wanted to watch fundamentals, lay-ups and beautifully choreographed offense, I'd play rec league basketball on an Independent team with a bunch of rejects. I want to see dunks, fast breaks and idiotic technical fouls earned by people coursing with testosterone after an amazing put back dunk on a fast break.

I don't want to see Pat Summit, and I don't want to hear any more about her winning more games than Dean Smith. As far as I am concerened there is no comparisson. I am not saying she is not a great coach. I really think she may well be. All I am saying is that Pat Summit may have won a lot of basketball games, but she has nothing on Lawrence Phillips, Jason Kidd and the one armed drummer of Def Leppard when it comes to beating women.

Stockade District Dang it's; No thank you.....

Unemployment....if every day of unemployment was like today in the Schenec well that makes me wish to get fired on any Wednesday. The talk of Toast getting fired, we won't discuss right now. What we will talk about is the fact that I got wicked hammered in a town that I seldom see. Not to mention the fact that this has been one of the only times since Chigago we have gotten the majority of us together, sans Jitter, Danny, and Rhen. But not to worry, a few phone calls and random instant messaging has keep us in touch for this opening weekend of the NCAA tourney. Talk of Big Leobowski has just hit this pajama clad crowd and let me tell you....its nice. Pizza, XXX, and coffee are all the rage here as we have been drinkin since 11am and there may be no end in sight. The night shall not be comlete till there is some vomiting.....and some Short!! Did I mention that P.J. was in boxers??

Now, where was I? The tourney is kicking my ass!! That and the fact that I haven't had some quality time with the boys in quite some time has made me realize that I miss the times of old, the days of Lancaster, frisbee, and shovelball. This almost sounds like a serious toasted blog entry. The fun of typing drunk I guess. I just wanted to let all y'all know that in this time of reflection without workie and full of that I have missed a lot of my friends, even the ones I see regularly, and that I look forward to our plan of touring the eastern seaboard this summer for some classy ball games. Ok, just ran out of Molson XXX and West Virginia is doing there best to lose. Dang It!! I meant about the beer....and WV.

Javen has been trying to get me to move out here, for school and awesome times. I'm not going to lie to you, I can see that happening. Now, I can ramble on like crazy and maybe you'll read...maybe you'll won't. But I think that you'll prefer some sober Toastedblog. Ok, maybe I was wrong, but its a helluva lot easier for me to type, once again I push the 11am beer start time. Nonetheless, I do like the options presented before me in my new economic and work-free state. We'll just have to see what I can get done and what kind of flights that my Uncle Jitter can afford. Ok...well maybe he won't have to buy my ticket, but it would be nice to have been asked. This humor is all off, I need to pay attention to my booze and not worry about some bloggings. Its GO TIME!! It's 11pm and I'm getting drunker!! You may read that last statement and be unimpressed, but need I reinforce the 11am drinking start time. Damn you XXX!!! Danny and Jitter, we'll see you soon. Bow I'm off to get Javen out of his reindeer jammies. Best of luck to us all.

Best/Worst Day of My Life

Okay, so this isn't technically the worst day of my life. But it's a pretty bad day. First of all, I've been drinking. Secondly, my NCAA Bracket is all fugged up. Okay, sure, all my Elite Eight are still alive, but I'm getting killed. Thanks Kansas, Syracuse, Oklahoma, Boston College, UAB. Thanks for nothing you bastards. I was hoping to really score some serious cash this year, but nnnnoooo... you bastards have no clue how to play basketball. Why don't you come to a Change O'Pacers' game sometime and learn the game. You queer bastards. (I have nothing wrong with queers, for the record.)

PJ Kuno is standing behind me right now. He just said, "Goddamn the fucking 'Cuse! FUCK!" They lost last night, yet Sailor Man's passion for SU runs so deep that he once cut up all his SU gear with scissors when they lost a game to #15 Richmond in the 1991 NCAA Tournament. Sailor Man's passion runs deep.

Not to mention that I believe my uvula is, again, in jeopardy. I drank some Busch. I knew what I was doing. We ordered a pitcher at the Block House, they told me it was Busch. My brother had once had a problem with Busch; it made his uvula swell up to about 4x it's size. I'm no biologist, but my brother and I probably have similar DNA, which would indicate we probably have the same adverse reaction to the same beers. There is some wheat-processing that we have problems with. I can feel my throat closing up, but not too bad. I am trying to find a place to get some Benadryl. I already got some KFC, so that part of the to-do list has been checked off.

Why is this the best/worst weekend ever? It's a classic over-bloat. We have been drinking much more beer than necessary, yet not driving anywhere. We have eaten far too much, yet I am not full. We went to the Schenectady Block Party, yet we are probably going back. Javen gave us an oral history of the Schenectady Stockade area, yet I feel that I have learned nothing. Here's what I have learned:

PJ is very bitter about Syracuse. He has said the phrase "Overblog my dick" several times, which would indicate to me that he hates the entire blogging philosophy. PJ bought our lunch at Slick's, which was unexpected and extraordinary.

Thomas Craig O'Connor is a fun bastard. He and I have promised to end every sentence we utter with the word "Buddy" or "B."

Dunford may also be allergic to Busch since I watched his head turn a blotchy red color I have never seen before.

Will hates Boston College, though he is from the Boston area (Hanson, MA). He loves the Sox and Pats, yet hates BC, which just jacked his ACC-hating ass up many many cool points in my book.

Javen is a good host. He has had every possible game on, yet we have spent only about half our time at the cribsite. He brought us to Slick's today, and if you haven't heard, Slick's (in Schenectady) has the largest sandwiches I've ever seen. They only use Wonder Bread, but there is at least a pound of meat (and I mean this literally) on each sandwich. It is delightful!

Toastie is between jobs, but got fucked over by one of them. Toastie's former employers can kiss my ass. If Toastie's former employer ever is in a situation where they need a several hundred thousand dollar grant from me, I will string them along thinking they will get it and then I will call them at 11:00 at night and tell them I won't get it. DANG! That's cooollllld bloooo-ooded!

If I die before the sun comes up, I leave my iPod to Willie. I leave my collection of doilies to Toastie. I leave my DVD collection to Rage. I leave my CD collection to Javen, but not the rap part. That part I leave to Mike Cialini. I leave my rock-hard ass to myself. I have worked many years sitting on my ass to get it, so why shouldn't I bear the fruits.

I miss Jitter and I wish he was in the United States... but not necessarily in the State of New York. I think things would be much more chaotic with him here.

I'm drunk and goddammit I hope I live until dawn.

Classic over-Tucker

You might be a tool if................
You picked Vermont over Syracuse
You might be gay if...............................
you want Tommy O'Connor in an unnatural way
I've been everywhere man, I've here and there man.
"I won't even put down my groceries."
Who is that guy?
What's a Saluki????
Tuckahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Bucknell wins! Bucknell wins!
XXX is gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!
I can't pick tournament games, because I suck!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAVE A BANDIT DAY!
joAQUIN andUjAR WON 20 OR MORE GAMES TWICE. TWICE!!!
Ball State is in Munce, IN.
The place of higher education in Gary, IN?.................Gary Community College Fightin' Industrialists?
I slept with JJ Reddick's sister!

All Right!!! We've got Neil Diamond on Board!!!

I like this plan fellas. Do you need me to sign off on it or something. I can definitely get that Friday (July 1st) off of work if need be, same for that Tuesday, July 5th; despite Jitter's belief that July 4th is a Saturday, even though it follows Saturday July 2nd and Sunday July 3rd. As for the rapid weight loss, I am vomiting as I type this. I should look sickly in no time. Does this trip require another van rental? Oh I certainly hope so. I want to ride shotgun for a little bit this time, and be seated no where near Phelps if the Phillies lose, if the Nationals do not allow blue vintage Expos jerseys at RFK, or he does not have his daily recommended allowance of meats and cheeses. I shall begin developing mixes featuring nothing but A Perfect Circle to make sure the trip goes perfect musically. Let me know if Googles magically gets constructed while you're in Mansfield for I still am in disbelief in its actual existence. I got dibs on bunking with Banazek and Willie Moe for I haven't slept that well with two full grown men since Chigago. I miss your scent, I miss your musk.

In other news, I am all jittery (owww!!!!) with excitement due to being less than two weeks away from trip Schenectady to yet again get booted from BL's. Let's see if we can make this time getting kicked out legitimate. Who's with me? Dunford, we're looking for your help here. Billy, I want you to wear one of those beer drinking hats and when I say that I mean a large cowboy hat with CHIP's style sunglasses. Willie, don't forget the gorilla slippers and I expect to see you in some sort of jersey. I'm thinking Eric Swann here. Javen, I trust you can get us all worked up with some comments that could frustrate a preacher's wife and thanks for hosting this outrageous event. Tucker shall be far too bloated at this point of the weekend. I need some pizzah bah-ddy. Reyn, who knows as he is the Ace in the Hole for the trip; the wild card!! Don't worry about me, I've been doing plenty of drinking of late; y'all should have seen me this past Saturday for SU afternoon and then at Coleman's until 2:00. That was a drinking event. Toast is not getting upset!!!

New Shit has come to light....

So since we need to get rolling on any sorts of plans, we need to finalize something. With that in mind, the highly dedicated and efficient Offices of the Ministry of Travel, Portugese and Chicago divisions have decided to take the slight murmurings of a Philly-Baltimore-DC Independence Day Summer Catch Weekend and create the following proposed Itinerary...

1) Friday - July 1st 2005 - At the same time that an extremely hung over and happy Danny and Uncle Jitter bid a tearful "Adieu !" to the one and only Wood St. Cafe and begin stealthily piloting a Dodge Stratus excitedly from the work-a-day town of Mansfield to the Gliitz and Glamour of the city of brotherly love, with Elton JOhn's Phiiladelphia Freedom on Round Play on the CD player, Tommy and Reyn will be rocketing through the Stratosphere on Route From Boston to Schencectady in another stealthily piloted Bus. Jitter and I meet them at the airport and proceed to the Hotel (- 3.3 Miles North of One Citizens Bank Way and reasonably Priced) where we meet up with the Syracuse contingent, who has left after work and made it here easily by 10:30 or 11:00. We all meet up in a bar and drink till 2:00 AM.

2) Saturday- July 2nd- We all enjoy an afternoon of Reyn vommiting and baseball as the Phillies take on the Noble Braves of Atlanta. We like it. In fact we like it so much that after the game, we get together in a big man huddle and decide that we should drive down to Baltimore and check out an Orioles - INdians Game the next day, but not before we feast on Crab Legs in the Inner Harbor, Drin Heavily, Witness a murder and crash in a the Bargain Rate Ramada Inn ( -8.9 Miles Northwest of Oriole Park at Camden Yards)

3) Sunday - July 3rd- I am sure we will enjoy the game, especially after a drunken Toastie uses his youthful cuteness to convince Indians Slugger Travis Haffner that he is there as part of the Make a Wish Foundation becausehe is dying of cancer, and Haffner hits two home runs for him. (Toastie start losing weight.) We all celebrate by drinking heavily and after another long groping man huddle, we decide that this weekend is to good to end now, so we pile into our now very smelly vehicles and make one last trip to DC after the game where we check into our beautiful Super 8 Motel (2.5 miles from RFK Stadium) and drink till we all die.

4) SAturday July 4th- Independence Day. The day I like to celebrate by watching the NAtionals of Washington DC play the Might Mighty Mets and picking fights with an 8-year old. It will be amazing. Hot Dogs will be eaten. Beers will be dranken and God willing Tommy will still be alive at the end of the game when we all get together and hug and go our seperate ways. Confident that this year's Summer Catch, Classic Overbaseball Weekend will go down as the best Independence day trip of the year.

Here are some of the Nitty-Gritty Details:
1) Vacation Days needed: Tommy and Reyn may have to Take a Half-Day Friday and Full Day on Tuesday to get home, but everyone else coming from NYS should be able to make it with no more than the typical holiday long weekend. (Although if we are smart we will all stay in DC the Monday after the game and spend a quiet night n the hotel drinking, playing cards and re-enacting summer catch) The enjoy nice easy drives home on Tuesday and maybe get Tommy and Reyn to the Aiport or the Bus Station. - So a MAximum of 1 to 1.5 Vacation Days will be needed.

2) Costs: Ticket prices range from 9-15 as near as I can tell. Hotels will be between 65 and 80 dollars a room...so once we know how many people are in we can do that Math.

3) The endless stories, pitctures and memories that come out of the weekend = Priceless.

Greatest Weekend Ever, Summer 2005 - Redux

So here are the current road trip ideas that are being bantied about:

1) One City trip to KC for Royals Games. Plusses: Cheap and Guaranteed Seating, Mike Sweeney and BBQ. Minuses: 19-hour drive from Syracuse.
-Royals Home Dates this Summer: June 17-19 Astros; July 1-3 Angels; July 8-10 Min; July 22-24 Tor

2) Possible two city weekend trip to any of the below listed options:
-Detroit: Home games June 16-19, July 1-3, 14-17 and 21-24
- Cleveland: June 17- 20, July 14-17 and 21-24
- Pittsburgh: June 10-12, July 21-24
3) Other ideas being mentioned:
-Toronto: not sure of home dates yet.
- Cinncinati/ Louisville - major minor league road trip...(lousiville is about 11 hours from syracuse, an easy one day drive.)

4) Anyother options you kids want to offer will work here too...

Let's start hearing some votes and see what we want to accomplish. If I had my way, I would do the KC road trip, but the 19 hour drive pretty much limits us to using July 4th weekend as a means of lowering vacation time requirements.

Next vote would be a Cleveland or Pittsburgh/ Detroit jaunt

I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.