Blogjammin'!

Dodger Baseball Boogie '86!

2009-05-29T17:31:00.001-07:00

Hard to believe these idiots won the World Series just two years later.

Breakdance

2009-05-15T21:53:00.001-07:00

Fun Game

2009-05-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

No Homo.

2009-05-04T12:24:00.000-07:00

New boy in the neighborhood
Lives downstairs and it is understood.
He’s there just to take good care of me,
Like he’s one of the family.

Charles in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights

And I sing, I want,
I want Charles in Charge of me.

Charles in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights

And I sing, I want,
I want Charles in Charge of me.

This Makes Me So Happy

2008-11-29T10:47:00.001-08:00

SWEET BUTKUS HAIR!

2008-10-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

It made Mii Laugh to Beat the Band

2008-08-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

It seems like just yesterday we found out that there was a little Lebowski on the way, and now he's nine, almost 10 years old.

More Than Anything in the World, Ron

2008-08-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

"How do you like me NOOOOWWWW!!!"

2008-08-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

"

When you mess with the law in Jackson County, you mess with Deputy Rack Rackland."

His name is Rack Rackland. he..he..hehehehaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

R.I.P. 'Stache

2008-08-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Statement from the American Mustache Institute (a mustache is a terrible thing to shave...) on the untimely demise of Big G's 'stache:

It lived a life most of us would envy. But in the end, Jason Giambi’s mustache never really had a chance, and ended up in a bathroom basin, dead after less than a few months of life.

The American Mustache Institute salutes Mr. Giambi and his mustache, for having the bravery to walk proudly down the same lines upon which other great Yankee mustaches have - including Reggie Jackson, Thurman Munson, Don Mattingly, and Sal Fasano. Our hearts and prayers go out to Mr. Giambi, his family, and the Yankees organization. And while we are all gravely disappointed by the passing of Jason’s mustache, no one, or thing, feels a greater loss than his upper lip. The thick coating of fur had become a part of that lip - like peanut butter and jelly - and we can only hope Giambi’s late lip sweater is in a better place.

It is important during this time of mourning that we all reflect and understand that every time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. And the American Mustache Institute has established a fund in memory of Mr. Giambi’s mustache that will be used to educate young people about the merits of facial hair, circus clowns, and juggling.

In the end, while the hearts of mustached-Americans everywhere are broken, we must always remind ourselves that a mustache is a terrible thing to shave.

We look forward to a newly erected monument in the new Yankee Stadium commemorating Giambi’s mustache alongside Ruth, Gehrig, and DiMaggio."

Ante Up!

2008-08-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs, two of my favorite muppets.

The Iron Sheik Has Some Issues to Work Out

2008-07-27T18:16:00.001-07:00

This is worth watching all the way through.

Just when you thought it couldn't possibly get any better....

2008-07-17T13:18:00.001-07:00

DRUNK BEARS!!!

In case you weren't excited about this year's election....

2008-07-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

This Shirt + Toasty = Gold

2008-07-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

Seriously though, if anyone is thinking of getting me a wedding present, you could do a lot worse than this shirt.

Anchor, Oy Vey!

2008-06-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

This guy really should learn where to place commas and periods in his speaking.

That whip is one smooth talker.

2008-06-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

For some reason this has been in my head all morning.

[Note: embedding not working on all computers, but click HERE for the direct site.

The Cypher - A Freestyle

2008-04-21T14:33:00.001-07:00

Defies explanation.

Nixon

2008-04-21T14:32:00.001-07:00

He, Max

2008-04-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

True story. This is a music video by hip hop group Max & Sam (stolen from Deadspin.com, of course).

Max is, in fact, Max Kellerman, former host of Around the Horn and I, Max. He has some surprisingly tight lyrics, I must say. But he's still a douche.

Yes. Yes. YEEEESSSS!!!

2008-03-13T18:19:00.001-07:00

Boheman Rhapsody

2008-02-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

Slumpbusters!!!

2008-01-03T12:34:00.000-08:00

I like the fact that Kevin Youkilis is supporting a drink whose name happens to coincide with doin' fat chicks. Plus the ad slogan is just brilliant: "Take down a Slumpbuster".

Ooncha...Booncha...One, Two, Three-cha...

2008-01-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

.....Toastedblog's back and it's glad to see ya!!!

Granted, the post isn't much but I figured I'd give all a heads up on the triumphant return of Toastedblog. Now if I can only learn how to use the dag gum intranet. Stay tuned as what this kid's got is gonna turn your brain into shit.

Happy Festivus Everyone!

2007-12-23T14:37:00.000-08:00

Ya Understand Me Sweet Tooth?

2007-12-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

Some of you bastards will remember these....

Chuck Norris

2007-12-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

If Chuck Norris endorses you and appears in one of your campaign's TV ads, you take the lead in an poll and your Web server crashes.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/73272

G-Mac on The Office

2007-10-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

Check out the bobblehead!

Damn! That Don't Sound Too Good, Bill Murray!

2007-10-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

Wu-Tang Clan and Bill Groundhog Day Ghostbustin'-Ass Murray, from the film "Coffee and Cigarettes."

Video Game Stuff

2007-09-20T20:28:00.001-07:00

This made me laugh my ass off in a nostalgic way. If only they could have done a version of Tecmo.

***
Speaking of which...I'm not sure what this is but I'm not sure I dislike it.

Another one for you Tecmo Geeks. Who here thinks the Bucs would be dominant if they still had Wayne Haddix?

But seriously what the F is this???????

***

How long this must have taken boggles the mind.

The Greatest Prank Ever

2007-09-11T21:37:00.001-07:00

This is unreal.

Worst Love Connection Name EVER

2007-09-10T21:34:00.001-07:00

Love Connection: Worst Name Ever - Watch more free videos

The Worst Movie Scenes Ever

2007-09-10T21:33:00.001-07:00

(Most Random Line not safe for work)

Worst Movie Scenes Ever - Watch more free videos

Britney's Swan Song

2007-09-10T21:22:00.001-07:00

Pretty sure we've seen the end of this talentless poptart. Did she even realize that there were cameras rolling?

Angry Video Game Nerd

2007-09-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

These are long but worth it. Angry nerd takes on old school Nintendo games. [Bad language; not safe for work] Witness...

THE POWER GLOVE

BACK TO THE FUTURE

THE KARATE KID

TMNT

Ghetto 4ss Barney

2007-09-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

These seriously freak me the #%^@ out

Sunny D Commercial

2007-09-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

I did not see that comin'. [Turn down the volume if you're at work.]

Looks + Brains = Triple Threat!

2007-08-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

Meet Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton. This is her Q&A portion at the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant. (Watch as Mario Lopez tries not to die laughing.)

Someone get me her phone number, I think I need to marry her.

EAT YOUR HEART OUT DURAN DURAN

2007-08-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Rain!

2007-07-28T17:16:00.000-07:00

A melodic masterpiece by Tay Zonday

You Are a FAT!

2007-07-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

They Think They're Saving the Rainforest

2007-07-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

If that's what you're into...

2007-07-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

This is my new favorite show. If you haven't watched it yet, I highly suggest you check it out.

Back When It Was Safe For White Guys to Rap

2007-07-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

San Diego Sockers music video from the 1980s. It's called "One For the Thumb." I'm assuming "The Thumb" was a teammate who passed away.

Holy fucking shit, though.

Rappin' bout the movies!

2007-07-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

I like it!!

Inter-Net Enthusiasts

2007-07-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Apparently in 1993 there was a report on Canadian television about a computer technology called "inter-net." I personally am reserving judgment. Personally I still don't see any further use for these computer machines than computer games.

Let's Go to the Mall!

2007-07-03T21:03:00.001-07:00

By Canadian superstar Robin Sparkles

Amazing.

Get a New Daddy

2007-07-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

Catchy as hell, from The Whitest Kids U'Know.

For all of us who have ever been mad at our mom and/or dad.

It's Gettin' Hot in Scrranton

2007-06-17T18:55:00.001-07:00

Boogie Nights - Star Wars Edition

2007-06-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

BARACK THE VOTE!

2007-06-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

Larry King's News and Views

2007-06-07T09:24:00.001-07:00

From the SNL ARCHIVES site:

If you're not reading "Larry King's News & Views" in USA Today, then you're missing out on the issues that matter.

This is "News and Views." Here's my two cents, gang.

If you only see one film the rest of your life, it should be - "Dante's Peak"!

Yours truly will be in Branson, Missouri next week for an exclusive interview with - Eddie Rabbitt.

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate water. A great, great beverage.

Is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired - of the Special Olympics?

Promoter Don King: one class act!

I don't ever remember wearing a hat. Not once. Not ever.

I dined with O. J. Simpson in Los Angeles last week and, take it from me, folks, the Juice is still a hero wherever he goes.

Of all the causes of death, burning in a fire is still Numero Uno in the pain department.

There isn't a better chef in the world of food than Chef Boyardee.

I have no tolerance for people who bury other people alive.

When it comes to window blinds, vertical blinds are terrific, but so are horizontal blinds.

Has anybody ever died of a heart attack? I mean, really?

I don't care what anyone says, in my book, Ted Kaczynski is not the Unabomber.

Sudden thought: When did sugar diabetes become plain old diabetes?

Of all of the figures of the 20th Century one of the greatest has to be Robert Urich.

I have no tolerance, gang, for anyone who commits arson.

World Series prediction, it will be the Diamondbacks in 4.

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate the equator.

I don't ever remember seeing a Mormon, not once, not ever.

Is it just me, or is anyone else sick and tired of Nelson Mandela?

Here's the dirty truth, gang, Poland spring water does not come from Poland.

I interviewed Chile's imprisoned dictator General Pinochet last week, and take it from me, guys, this fella has a terrific laugh.

Does anybody remember baseball cards?

Between Hurricane Hugo and Hurricane Andrew, nothing beats Hurricane Hugo.

My wish for the new millennium is that we see a lot more of John Larroquette.

Family update, folks: Holding my baby son, Chance King makes me realize how much more I love him than my other children.

Red wine is a terrific wine, but so is white wine.

Does anyone really care if Pakistan has the bomb?

Actress Melanie Griffith: One class act!

Now that the world population has reached 6 billion, gang, something tells me it's only gonna get bigger.

I am still not a fan of Fred Astaire.

Someone oughta tell all these high school students that guns just aren't safe, gang.

Nothing is as consistently funny on the tube as the TV show "Becker".

The more I read about Albert Einstein, the more I realize this guy was a true genius.

Sudden thought, gang. I have no compassion for anyone who commits rape.

This has been USA Today's "News & Views with Larry King.

Margarine has its place, but nothing beats the real deal... butter.

The New Commish's Rules

2007-05-22T14:29:00.001-07:00

I know I'm a little behind the 8-ball here, but I never linked this, the memo sent out by new NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell at Kissing Suzy Kolber.

It's the memo the Commish sent out to all the new draft picks this year. Here's a sample:

Pay attention, d*cksmacks, I'm only going over this sh*t once. You will be in the green room at 10:00 a.m. on the dot wearing a suit and tie. A regular f*cking suit. Three damn buttons, no more, no less. And none of the fruity Michael Irvin pinstripe sh*t-- black, navy or gray and a solid tie. Any deviation and I will suspend your ass on the spot. Calvin "Cheech" Johnson, Gaines "Chong" Adams and Amobi "Cypress Hill" Okoye: you three hop-heads need to show up an hour early for your mandatory drug test, pat-down/cavity search and appointment with Colonel Wags, the drug-sniffing police dog. No doobies will be smoked on my watch, f*ck-o.

Read the rest here.

UMMMMM, WHATCHA SAY

2007-05-08T07:22:00.000-07:00

Becomes even funnier if you've seen this:

That was the actual OC Season 2 Finale,unedited or dubbed or nothing. This really took off, as THE short to parody, so we'll throw in one more, that was made for the Office:

Ummmmmm, whatcha say?

"Top Shelf Where Mom Hides the Cookies"

2007-05-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

Here are the ten greatest calls in the illustrious career of Buffalo Sabres announcer Rick Jeanneret.

My favorite is #3. "Tis the Season"

When I Was Young I Used to Pretend I Was Marie Osmond

2007-04-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

Am I totally gay for actually thinking this song is catchy as hell? Thing is, I can't tell if Bo Bice knew it was a joke or not when he was making it. If he did, then he's cooler than I thought.

You might not want to watch it if you haven't already seen the movie since it gives away some of the funny parts.

And who knew Pam from The Office was such a babe?

I'll Smack You In The Mouth, I'm Neil Diamond!

2007-04-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

I still love it.

Jump On It! Jump On It! Jump On It!

2007-04-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, this clip was blatantly stolen from Deadspin, but it seems somewhat appropriate.

It's from the WNBA "Jam Cam" from a few years ago, I'm guessing.

Listen to the song. I think Toastie can recite most of the words.

And watch the guy at the end. It's the perfect storm. Behold...

Classic Over Links

2007-04-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

So I am in the process of cleaning out my work email, and there is a plethora of great links. I figured I would post them here, since I am too lazy to bookmark them:

1) Javen , next time I come to Schenectedy , I want to TT to bake us this cake.

2) Davis Hassel-hoff the charts awesomeness

3) Which theory of time-travel do you subscribe to?

4) Are you a better hunter than the Vice President?

5) Are you smarter than Vince Young?

6) What do you mean? African or European Swallow?

7) So just what can skippy do?

8) Oh those crazy web masters..

9) Lucky is the Family Guy...

10) This is a perfectly cromulent link

11) Old Simpsons Episodes

12) Tired of the Same old Boring Visitors Day Photos?

13) One Shining Moment...

THE THIRD COMING

2007-04-04T12:49:00.000-07:00

Billy Ball and Peter King are the same person....

2007-03-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

Except Billy knows more about football, is a better writer and he has never given Rick Reilley a BBJ.

From today's Monday Morning Quaterback on si.com:

One of the best discoveries of midlife: St. Patrick's Day. Never thought I'd love Guinness, but it's pretty close to the perfect beer.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/peter_king/03/18/overtime/4.html

The Time is Fast Approaching...

2007-02-18T15:45:00.000-08:00

Yep, kids, it's almost that time once again. The Madness of March is nearly upon us. Our treasured traditional extended weekend of debauchery:
Bojangles presents the Fourth Annual Electric City Weekend of Madness and Associated Drunken Revelry/Idiocy in the Middle of March! We have expanded our quarters a bit since last year's festivities. That's right, bitches, two floors! The fun begins by noon (at the latest) on Thursday, March 15. Will this be the year that we do a KFC vs. Popeye's taste off? Will Willie take a full week off work? Will Tom survive the weekend? Will Danny and/or Jitter make it to the Electric City? The answers to all of these questions and more could be yours! Also included in this lavish package: three televisions showing live games, wireless internet access, artisinal cheeses, delicious beers, exciting basketball action, assorted fatty foods, plenty of dudes, plenty of bars, and more...

For What it's worth...

2007-01-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

Can you even run up the middle three times and then punt when you are on defense?

"If Bill Parcells returns, look for either secondary coach Todd Bowles or linebackers coach Paul Pasqualoni to be among the candidates to head the Cowboys defense. According to a source, Bowles would have been the choice last year had Mike Zimmer, who interviewed to be the Rams head coach, taken another job."

"Pasqualoni, who joined the Cowboys staff in 2005 after a run as Syracuse head coach, has become one of the most respected coaches on staff."

-- Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Gentlemen, grab your old spice.

2007-01-09T15:32:00.001-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2006-12-22T18:51:00.000-08:00

Watch it Quick before it goes away

2006-12-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KS865kF3vo&mode=user&search=

It's still not all that funny, yet oddly, it is.

Center Holds It! Holds It! HOLDS IT!

2006-10-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

"This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on Earth: Mexico .... or Portugal!"

Lee Elia, Now this is a meltdown.

2006-10-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

Recently, upon the hiring of Lou Pinella, the Chicago Tribune ran an article speculating whether Pinella would bring along his long time bench coach Lee Elia.

It seems that in the early 80's, while managing the Cubs, Elia suffered a press meltdown of gargantuan proportions, so huge in fact that all I can do is wonder just how it is that so-called sports writers like "The Sports Guy" can continually overlook it when talking about the greatest sports meltdowns of all Time. "Playoffs"? Please. "Practice? We're talkin' bout practice" No. "Go ahead and crown their asses!!" Maybe. But seriously if you have never heard this before listen to it for yourself. (NSFW)

(Note: It is far more fun if you print out a transcript of it and read along.)

Just In Case You Missed It...

2006-10-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Albany reaches for size in draft

Pats nab Buckman first; McNamara in sixth round

By TIM WILKIN, Staff writer
Click byline for more stories by writer.
First published: Wednesday, September 27, 2006

ALBANY -- The Albany Patroons' most interesting pick in the Continental Basketball Association draft Tuesday night was their final one.

In the sixth round, with the 60th and second-to-last-selection, the Patroons chose former Syracuse star Gerry McNamara. Don't get too excited: The chances of him playing at Washington Avenue Armory this winter are slim.

McNamara signed a one-year deal to play pro ball in Greece.

"Will he ever play here? I don't know," Patroons coach Micheal Ray Richardson said. "But we have his (CBA) rights for two years, and you never know what might happen to players when they go overseas."

The Patroons made Brad Buckman, a 6-foot-8, 235-pound forward from the University of Texas, their first pick in the league's 21st annual college draft.

Ten teams participated, including the expansion Pittsburgh Xplosion and Vancouver Dragons, which joined the league Tuesday.

Buckman averaged 9.5 points and 7.0 rebounds for the Longhorns his senior season.

Last year only one of the Patroons' draft picks, guard T.J. Thompson, played for the team.

"Buckman is a big body, and he comes from a good basketball school," Richardson said. "He can shoot the 3-pointer, and he is available. I spoke to his agent, and he said he is available."

Albany also drafted Wesley Wilkinson, a 6-10, 220-pound forward from Nebraska; Taj Gray, a 6-9, 238-pound forward from Oklahoma; 6-8, 235-pound forward Chris Copeland from Colorado; 6-3, 208-pound guard Jimmy McKinney from Misssouri; and then McNamara.

Wilkinson averaged 11.9 points and 6.2 rebounds for Nebraska and Gray 14.2 points, 7.7 rebounds and 1.6 blocks (all team highs) for Oklahoma. Copeland averaged 12.1 points and 5.1 rebounds and McKinney 12.6 points in college.

"We might get one of these guys in camp," Richardson said. "I just hope we get the right one."

Former Syracuse player Dayshawn Wright was the No. 1 pick by the Minot (N.D.) Skyrockets. He played only five minutes in 10 games in the Orange's 2004-05 season and was academically ineligible last season. Wilkin can be reached at 454-5415 or by e-mail at twilkin@timesunion.com.

Patroons' picksThe Albany Patroons' selections in the 2006 CBA draft: First round: F Brad Buckman (6-foot-8, 235 pounds), TexasSecond round: F Wesley Wilkerson (6-10, 270), NebraskaThird round: F Taj Gray (6-9, 238) OklahomaFourth round: F Chris Copeland (6-8, 235), ColoradoFifth round: G Jimmy McKinney (6-3, 212), MissouriSixth round: G Gerry McNamara (6-2, 180), Syracuse

In the Times-Union story, it mentions that McNamara has signed a one-year contract. Actually, it's a two-year deal with both player and club options for the second. If Gerry plays really well in Greece, he hopes to be in the NBA next year. If he plays OK but the NBA still isn't an option, he'll be back in Greece. He's making roughly $250K this year in Greece. Not exactly NBA minimum, but hey, I hear Greece is pretty nice this time of year.

In related news...

From Europe to the CBA

I spoke with the agent for ex-Syracuse player Billy Edelin today. It seems Edelin has been cut by Verviers-Pepinster, the Belgium league team that had signed him back in August.

Edelin hadn't played organized ball since leaving the team at Syracuse University mid-way through the 2004-05 season. His lack of conditioning played a role in his quick departure from Europe. He joined Verviers-Pepinster as the team was ready to start the season and he was behind. I'm told that Verviers-Pepinster also was interested in a point guard with a different style.

Alex Yam, Edelin’s agent, said he expects Edelin to sign a contract with Great Falls (Mont.) of the Continental Basketball Association by early next week.

Mike Waters
mwaters@syracuse.com

and...

Not over the Hill
A few days ago former Syracuse University standout Otis Hill was headed to Israel.

Now, Hill, who also played in Israel last year, is ticketed for the renowned Croatian league team Split.

Otis Hill in Split! - Sep. 19, 2006 - by Dani Erceg
Otis Hill (203-C-74, college: Syracuse) signed for Split. Hill played last season for Hapoel Ironi Naharya where he averaged 17ppg, 5.8rpg and 1.6spg in Israeli Premier League.

How crazy is it that SU basketball practice starts October 13, and the regular season begins November 10? Before you know it, we'll be gathering in Schenectady for our 4th annual March Madness Extravaganza and Drunken Jamboree!

On the off chance that anyone would like to attend an Albany Patroons game, they are cheap, they are in a cool venue very close to Bomber's Burrito Bar, and we could probably get this wacky hoops fan to attend.

T.J. Whosyamama? Yes, Lock It Up!

2006-09-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

Put him on the board, T.J. Howshamazolie. Got it. Championship.

No, Tom. He's Just on Crack.

2006-09-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

Tom Jackson says something most unexpected to crack addict Michael Irvin...

Wait for it...

Who's Bout It Bout It? Daunte Culpepper's Bout It Bout It.

2006-09-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

Since it's opening weekend, I present this homage from a simpler time. Enjoy...

This May Take Some of You Back a Decade...

2006-08-03T19:41:00.000-07:00

...or maybe it's just me. Thanks go to Billyball for reminding.

One Striped Van to Rule Them All

2006-07-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

I love it when a plan comes together...

I Want to Take Some Cats on a Field Trip...

2006-06-26T20:32:00.000-07:00

More slam poetry from Malcolm Jamal Warner, or could it be Etan Thomas? Hard to know for sure. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised. It's actually sorta good when you see him do it...let's just say he's no JJ Redick. Give it a shot, ya fuck! It's work safe. Word.

Save Screech's House

2006-06-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

Finally, a internet charity drive I can get behind:

Just Two Guys

2006-06-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

We're just two guys and we're having a good time...

Hasselhoff Loves Hicks

2006-06-03T00:06:00.000-07:00

It's very short, but here's a clip of David Hasselhoff actually crying at the heroic victory by Taylor Hicks on American Idol.

Ten YouTube Videos You've Gotta See

2006-06-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

Click here for Ten sports-related YouTube.com videos. From Randy Johnson killing a bird ...

...to Avery Johnson killing off a whole generation via a grab to the family jewels.

Again, link was blatantly stolen from Deadspin.

Alan Partridge - Eat My Goal!

2006-06-02T23:46:00.000-07:00

Blatantly stolen from Deadspin.

The great Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge. It's from 1994, but it's hilarious.

"Twat! That is liquid football!"
"Shit! Did you see that?"

Classic.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

2006-05-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

I know this is so old and all you nerds have probably seen it a thousand times, but there is nothing better than when Japanese is translated into broken English.

Click one of the pictures and then click "Watch this Movie."

What Would Uncle Jesse Do?

2006-05-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

Just a sampling of his diary (that's what they had before blogs). Click the pic to go there.

Dear Diary,

It's almost St. Patrick's Day. To celebrate, I'll probably make France cook me beef stew. I thought I saw a Leprechaun in the front yard today. It turned out to be one of my kids. I took his pot of gold anyway. I think I'll spend the money on PBR and books. Actaully, just PBR. I can read the cans. Joey called me and asked me if I wanted to go to Applebee's. I told him I would and, that if I didn't show up, he should punch himself in the balls. Becky messed up my Eggo-minis this morning. I told her to take 20 laps. She took 20 laps. I had to cook the Eggo-minis myself. They were the last ones. My kids love Eggo-minis. Sucks for my kids. Tomorrow, I'll probably go to Atlantic City. I'll come back and tell Becky to get me a seedless watermelon. When she asks why, I'll tell her I'm pregnant. She's dumb, so she'll believe me. If she doesn't, I'll pee in the closet and tell her she did it. One time, she tried to tell me that I came home and peed on the N64. She even showed it to me. It was covered with pee. Know what I said to her? "You're welcome." She saw the error of her ways, and built me a robot out of toothpicks and JuJuBees. I'd seen better robots, but I thought I'd give this one a whirl. We went out and threw some stuff off a bridge. Danny Tanner won't miss it. If he does, I'll send him to join it. Then, I'll pour water on his toilet paper. Once I come back from Atlantic City tomorrow, I think I'll rent a hovercraft. I won't pay for it, and I probably won't return it. And I'll write it off on my taxes. That way, I can finally have a way to get to the Everglades, and party with some alligators. People keep telling me that it's dangerous to party with alligators. I hear alligators say it's dangerous to party with me. Either way, Danny Tanner will still like washing men. One of these days, I'm gonna drive his car off a bridge. Only, I'm going to ask him to do it for me. He's such a pushover, I'm sure he'll say yes. Then I'll switch his Pledge with my piss. That'll teach him.

We need to hang out with the Red Baron...

2006-05-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

2006-05-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

Toastie...disoriented

NEW MEXICO!!

2006-05-04T18:59:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't take a chance on someone who pulls a gat on kids in a MacDonalds parking lot??? Vick, aka New Mexico, is being touted as the next Rae Carruth for cryin out loud!!!

2006-04-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

My impressionist painting of what I think Toastie would look like if he was passed out with a box of tissues, a plate of macaroni salad, a bag of Jones' chips and a wristband on his forehead in a hotel room in Milwaukee.

BACK TO HOBBITON!

2006-03-25T07:41:00.000-08:00

The first Hobbit was eliminated from the tourney last night! Fair thee well Appleby. He will now head back to Hobbiton and drown his sorrows in mead!

A Dell of a Deal!

2006-03-21T14:29:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE DELL?!!

BEN-WHOFLECK?!

2006-03-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

NOPE, IT'S NOT BEN AFFLECK, IT'S ALEX FARRER, A GUARD FOR LSU.

TNT2000??

2006-03-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

The Truth About Duke

2006-03-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

http://www.newsobserver.com/content/multimedia/sports/coachkommercial/

http://www.truthaboutduke.com/

A CARTOON FOR THE AGES

2006-03-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

Airball, hang time
Michael's gonna blow their minds

We are, we are
Pro Stars

Slapshot, hockey puck
Wayne's gonna make 'em duck

Football, break away
Bo's gonna save the day

We are, we are Pro Stars
We are, we are Pro Stars

Slam jam, in your face
Michael puts them in their place

We are, we are Pro Stars
We are, we are Pro Stars

Beefcake, stole the goal
Wayne's always in control

We are, we are Pro Stars
We are, we are Pro Stars

Fastball, big swing
Bo knows everything

Pro Stars, it's all about helping kids

Young Chuck Norris

2006-02-14T15:13:00.000-08:00

Norris used his hands and his feet
And he kicked and punched with his hands and his feet...

Roundhouse Kick...
Death Hold Grip...
Moustached Lip...
Tender Kiss...

Simpson Maker

2006-02-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

Click to make your own Simpsons Character. (I know this one doesn't look like me at all but it's the closest I could come. They didn't have eyes wee enough or a beard gorgeous enough.

Brokeback to the Future

2006-02-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

These re-cut movie trailers are brilliant.

Oh and click here for Top Gun: Brokeback Squadron.

DON'T BE A PLAYA HATAH!

2006-02-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

----------------WHAT TO GET BILLY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!------------

Happy Birthday Big Baby Jitters!

2006-02-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

WHAT BETTER WAY TO WISH UNCIE JITTER A HAPPY 28TH THAN WITH A PICTURE OF HIS ALL-TIME FAVORITE COMEDIAN, PAINTED ON THE SIDE OF A BUILDING IN BRANSON, MO:

Good $&@^*! Grief!

2006-01-30T18:10:00.000-08:00

You know you want to...don't be ashamed.

Beware, very long and very filthy. Not safe for work, but hilarious.

Oh look a banana!

2006-01-23T19:40:00.000-08:00

One Way Jesus

2006-01-20T18:52:00.000-08:00