The New Commish's Rules

I know I'm a little behind the 8-ball here, but I never linked this, the memo sent out by new NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell at Kissing Suzy Kolber.



It's the memo the Commish sent out to all the new draft picks this year. Here's a sample:

Pay attention, d*cksmacks, I'm only going over this sh*t once. You will be in the green room at 10:00 a.m. on the dot wearing a suit and tie. A regular f*cking suit. Three damn buttons, no more, no less. And none of the fruity Michael Irvin pinstripe sh*t-- black, navy or gray and a solid tie. Any deviation and I will suspend your ass on the spot. Calvin "Cheech" Johnson, Gaines "Chong" Adams and Amobi "Cypress Hill" Okoye: you three hop-heads need to show up an hour early for your mandatory drug test, pat-down/cavity search and appointment with Colonel Wags, the drug-sniffing police dog. No doobies will be smoked on my watch, f*ck-o.

Read the rest here.

UMMMMM, WHATCHA SAY

Becomes even funnier if you've seen this:



That was the actual OC Season 2 Finale,unedited or dubbed or nothing. This really took off, as THE short to parody, so we'll throw in one more, that was made for the Office:



Ummmmmm, whatcha say?

"Top Shelf Where Mom Hides the Cookies"

Here are the ten greatest calls in the illustrious career of Buffalo Sabres announcer Rick Jeanneret.



My favorite is #3. "Tis the Season"